The decision to homeschool our children was the culmination of weeks of discussion, research, and soul-searching. In the end, what was once an unfathomable path was now the most rational one. When we both thought about and discussed what we believed best for our little boys, the current school model could not provide for them. The next question was what exactly homeschooling would look like for our family.
How do you successfully homeschool your child? What does our homeschool classroom look like? What would be the recipe for our homeschool success story?
One thing we were sure of was that Max’s taste for school was soured by his recent experience. To immediately begin force-feeding him reading lessons and math lessons was not going to be productive for his learning experience or our sanity. We needed to remove the stigma of school from his mind and the best way to do that would be time. After reading more about schooling your children in less traditional methods, we found that this was our Deschooling period.
Deschool is the transitioning of your child out of the traditional school schedule. A time of very little formal learning to reinstitute your child’s natural love of learning. It was so important that Max, who was always one to ask a million questions beyond his age, would regain that natural curiosity. Throughout that first year, we focused on having fun. This was, after all his Kindergarten year. There was no rush to begin reading or performing in school-related subjects.
Children are such naturally curious creatures to whom any exposure to new experiences is a learning experience. Being present to answer their many questions was paramount. We spent a lot of time outdoors, where children naturally thrive. Nature walks through the woods allowed them to explore and learn about the science of life. It allowed them to move and expend their boundless energy so much more so than sitting in a classroom could ever allow. They were able to learn firsthand how the animal kingdom worked. How nests and dams are built, the relationship between predator and prey, and how birds fly and fish swim. The questions came organically out of curiosity, and we were able to be there to answer each one for them.
There are many defined and practiced methods of teaching your children at home. Homeschool, which is an umbrella term for simply teaching your children at home, can still rely on traditional curriculum, daily lesson plans and even testing. For us, the idea of applying the current school curriculum didn’t make sense. Is it necessary for kids to learn in blocks of time dedicated to a specific subject? At 5 or 6 years old, can a child stay focused on a reading lesson for 40 minutes? Thinking back on our experience in schools, there was a lot of downtimes. Maybe not as much as a six-year-old, but as you got older, I can remember spending so much time being told to read quietly or sit through an entire 50-minute period called “study”, where you were left to your own devices. The only rule was that you had to remain quiet, but there was no necessity to actively learn. It seemed to us that this methodology was not the most efficient or practical.
Unschooling is another practiced method of teaching children outside the school system. Unschooling, by definition, is a more unstructured form of learning. There are not necessarily lesson plans or a curriculum. The child’s interests dictate their learning experience.
We both believe that allowing our kids to experience as much as we can provide them in life and following the path’s that most interest them is extremely important. How many adults do you know that have discussed the useless knowledge that they still carry from their primary school days? Is it fun to be able to answer that occasional trivia question about the signors of the Declaration of Independence or the symbol for sodium on the periodic table of elements? Sure, but unless you pursue a career in the fields of History or Science, neither of those facts is going to benefit you in your adult life. Could that time have been spent more efficiently or simply more enjoyably? The idea of unschooling is very appealing to both of us as parents. Instead of expecting our children to learn by memorization and regurgitating facts and figures presented to them, they would learn by doing. They would be able to follow their curiosity, and with guidance, would be able to pursue and learn about the areas of life that lit a fire inside them. On the contrary, as my more traditional-minded Father would remind me, those kids still need to learn how to read and write.
We were certain that we wanted our kids to have the freedom to explore the world on their terms, and we were ready to provide them with learning moments when they found something that provided a spark of interest for them.
No one method called to us specifically. Traditional homeschooling was too constricting, and lesson plans and curriculum were not the paths that we wanted to follow. Unschooling methods lent more to the vision we had for our family’s educational path, but there would still need to be structured learning time. We were all for our children following their hearts and their curiosity to learn in the areas of life that most interested them. We also wanted to make sure that our children understood the fundamentals of reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Furthermore, we utilized our public library which had always supplied a steady flow of STEM classes, projects, and engaging opportunities for kids. Covid-19 put a damper on some of those opportunities, although those programs have since returned. Joining the Audubon Society furnished access to so many amazing natural experiences, including nature trails and local animal sanctuaries. Trips to local museums, utilizing discounted tickets accessed through the library, offered chances to explore art, science, and the natural world. A 40-minute drive to Boston created free lessons in history, architecture, and plenty of playground recess locations. Seeking out local homeschool groups through Facebook was a lifeline to social opportunities for both our children and for Iwona. She found several groups that provided ideas, reassurance, and avenues for socialization. We also found local sports programs like track & field, ice skating lessons, and baseball, which have all furnished exercise, socialization, and the lessons of being part of a team.
One of the greatest benefits we found in all these areas was the freedom to do them in off hours. Granted days would need to be taken off work but being able to attend a museum or aquarium on a weekday, or to be able to go to the public skating hours on a Tuesday at 1 PM, creates opportunities to beat the crowds and enjoy our time wherever we go.
We always read a couple of books to Max and Noah before bed each night. It was an opportunity to wind down, cuddle up with them and spark their imagination. In the Fall, following our yearlong deschooling phase, we began to introduce reading lessons. This would be our first structured learning, and we were not sure how it would go. Would our kids reject the idea of structure? Would they be able to sit down and focus on a subject they had not chosen to learn? Either way, we both understood that there was a limit to the amount of educational freedom you could provide to a 5 and 7-year-old. Curiosity had already led them to make attempts at Bob Books they were gifted by an aunt. If you have never heard of Bob Books, they are an amazing set of books that have been extremely useful in our children’s learning-to-read journey. We started small, utilizing a book we learned about through another homeschool Mom called Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. With the patience of a saint, Iwona introduced a daily reading lesson. She would spend about 30 minutes each day working through the lessons of the book, working through writing lessons, and discussing the lesson with Max and Noah.
One of the most obvious hurdles of education at home is the age disparity between your children. It’s something that requires some flexibility to overcome. Sometimes Noah would practice writing letters quietly while Max would work through a reading lesson, but similarly, Noah would be introduced to a reading lesson maybe sooner than Max because he was there and that was the lesson for the day. Some days were met with enthusiasm and excitement, and just like in school, most days were still met with resistance and impatience. This is an area in which we were not easily swayed and required some consistency and at times firmness. It is now March, and I’m proud to say that both of our children are successfully reading. They have worked their way through the lesson plans, they have read their way through the various levels of Bob Books, and they have graduated to Dr. Seuss and other children’s level books. It’s also a very proud moment for Iwona having never taught before, she was able to provide enough direction for our boys to learn to read and write, an amazing accomplishment.
The most important aspect of our curriculum is family. The adage of taking a village to raise children is even more paramount to their becoming well-rounded humans when they are educated at home. Our boys have spent a lot of time with the family that has surrounded them since they were born. We are lucky to have so many aunts and uncles, siblings, and parents local to us, and the boy’s education has benefited tremendously. For Iwona and I, it’s such an important part of their upbringing. In today’s environment of technology, screens, and social media, our kids must learn some of the values of the last generation. The education they have received from the extra time they can spend with their Grandparents is immeasurable. Lessons about life and being good, responsible citizens. Culinary lessons learning how to bake cookies and make chicken cutlets with their grandmother. Their other grandmother, who is a Polish immigrant, has instilled a second language in their dialect. The opportunity to spend extra time with her ensures they will be bilingual and have access to another culture. Their grandfather, who is an ever-present figure in their life, has taught them the value of a dollar, to play chess, the importance of the Golden Rule, how to shoot a basketball and catch a baseball, and the value of bending the rules a bit. Craft projects with great-aunts, a visit to their aunt and uncle to tend to the ducks, and play with the dogs. The extra time to spend with these wonderful family members who, through action and conversation, have instilled immeasurable amounts of love and kindness that will help to build their character is of paramount importance.
What does homeschooling look like after 18 months? It looks like a success so far. Our kids are happy and learning every day. They are good readers and little calculators. They have had so many amazing experiences that never would have been possible to conform to the schedule of the public school system. They’ve spent invaluable time with family members, who have instilled life lessons and love. Their classroom lessons have included reading to a dog at the local library, playing the role of banker in Monopoly, counting the cash they made while raising money for the local food bank, exploring the wonders of nature, learning to swim, and ice skate. So far…. life is good.
