When either of us shares with someone for the first time that we homeschool our children, a mixed response tends to follow. They can appreciate the idea of homeschooling, but they could never imagine doing it themselves. “I don’t think I’d have the patience” “I can’t wait for Mondays.”
I get it. Our children are not different than any other. There are moments every day when we’d love a slight separation from our children for 5 minutes…or 50. We try to give each other that time when we can see the other is at the limit for the moment.
We choose this for our children, but we also choose this for ourselves. Life is such a magical moment in time and the fraction of it that we get to spend as parents of these little boys is both fleeting and priceless. So, for us life without school is everything.
5 THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT LIFE WITHOUT SCHOOL
1. FAMILY CONNECTION
The thought of someone telling us that our time with our children would need to fit into their learning schedule does not fly in our family. The first five years of our children’s lives were certainly not enough time for us to decide that giving away 6 or 7 hours a day to an institution was necessary. We love the time we spend together. We have a daily rhythm and comfort in our lives, and our children benefit from that comfort. They benefit from happiness and love throughout the day, and the comfort to feel free to go in their own direction under their parents’ wing.
We cherish the time they spend together. The sibling bond they develop each day through play, laughter, and learning is immeasurably significant. There is no measurable benefit to the belief that at this age especially, children need to develop independence. Watching the two of our boys together as they interact with each other and learn to treat each other with respect is amazing. They love one another so much, and this time they can spend together without the world interrupting is absolutely invaluable.
Our extended family is a big part of our child’s lives, and the time they spend with their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins is time that is worth carving out of life’s schedule. We would not trade their most valuable education-based school day for any day Max and Noah get to spend playing catch with their Papa, doing a craft project with their Gam, or playing store with their Babci. We can’t imagine trading those institutional hours for time spent with aunts, uncles, and cousins who are teaching them the value of familial bonds and love and laughter.
2. TIME
There is never enough of it in any of our lives. We tend to get so caught up in life that we lose track of the importance of time. To give ourselves that brief moment of childhood and parenthood is worth every sacrifice that needs to be made. So many parents feel the need to stack their child’s schedule from sunrise to sunset with activities. Even though they may be doing it out of love for their child, they are not taking the time to soak in childhood. Why is there such a need to get kids to learn earlier and earlier? Milestones in education, sports, and other activities are set with loftier goals for each generation.
We want to take our time with each passing year. We want to soak in each moment as it passes and hold onto it if we possibly can. Even at 7 and 5, we can already look back and see how fleeting those moments are as our children get older. They still have plenty of time to learn what is important, and to spend time practicing in the areas they have the desire to excel. They also have time to play with each other, to get lost in their imaginations, and to sit down for a few games of Uno or make some chocolate chip cookies as a family.
3. INSPIRED LEARNING
We enjoy watching our children get inspired to learn. When they run to grab the globe and begin asking questions about different islands or parts of the World, or when they find a unique rock on a nature walk and want to know what makes its shape or color unique. There are so many avenues for knowledge in everyday life, and the curiosity of a child is bound to travel down many of those avenues every day. When they are required to study a subject that does not interest them are they gaining anything from that time? Even if it is a subject that they might be interested in, they are just children and at that moment in the school day, they may not be in the right emotional state to receive that knowledge.
While learning in an unschooled fashion, our kids can seek knowledge not only in the areas that most interest them but also during the times when they are most interested in learning. This method provides them with a better atmosphere to take something valuable away from each learning experience and utilize the time in their day more efficiently.
4. SOCIALIZATION
Probably one of the biggest concerns of a conventional school parent is that homeschooling will handcuff their child’s ability to socialize. The fear is that without spending that time every day surrounded by children their age, our children will simply never learn to make friends, cope with social situations or learn to make decisions within a group. That is an absolute urban legend and could not be further from the truth. Our boys are out there every day playing on the playground, ice skating, running around in nature, and visiting Boston, museums, and places of cultural significance. They are interacting with other children, adults, and across several generations, as they explore and learn.
Each of us had our own traditional school experiences, but all of us can attest that even in the best of circumstances children in conventional schools are being met with cliques, bullying, forced social situations, and unhealthy relationships. Life without school allows us to place our children in healthy social situations and ensures that parents of other homeschooled children are responsible for their children’s actions in group activities. These facts lend to a more positive and respectful arena for the building of social skills.
5. AUTONOMY
Kids will be kids, right? Well, sometimes when you look at the school system you wonder how much they are being treated like adults. They are not allowed to use the bathroom without asking, they are told what time they will be eating lunch and for exactly how long, and when they can get up from their seats or go outside and play.
When they are released from the custody of the school system, they are still burdened with homework to be done before they arrive back at school the next day. Not much of their time belongs to them, or to relaxation, play, imagination, and family time.
Without the hindrance of school, our children are allowed to feel the freedom of decision and be in control of their daily movements. They learn about making good time management decisions and the consequences of overscheduling their day.
